Robot

 Darkness.

I can’t see.

My feet carry me,

But I don’t know where I’m going.

I’m a robot.

I go through the motions,

But with blanked-out emotions,

My brain wired to push back feelings,

Because I know what happens if I don’t.

 

You’ll get through it,

They said.

It’s all in your head,

They said.

I can’t listen any more,

I can’t hear.

I can’t,

Don’t want,

To feel.

 

The pain is too much,

It rips at my body,

And I let it.

What else do I do?

 

I used to feel.

I used to want help.

Sometimes I would ask for it.

No-one can help me now,

It’s hopeless.

 

People look at me sadly,

Because they think how badly,

I must be feeling.

Maybe I am,

But what would I know,

I'm a different person now.

 

I watch myself,

And wonder,

How are they doing?

I lost control of feeling a while ago,

It’s strange…

Or a relief.

Who knows?