Better

I was looking back at my old poems,

Some were weird, some were happy,

But those that were sad 

Grabbed my attention,

Holding me there.

I forgot that I wrote them,

In the dead of night,

Tears rolling down my cheeks,

Unchecked and uncontrollable,

Wondering if it would ever get better.

I look back at her as if at a sister,

And tears fill my eyes now,

Watching her cry,

Silent, subdued, alone,

And I want to comfort her,

But I can’t. 

Tears spill onto the page,

And her words flood the paper,

It’s her way of escape, of release,

From the feelings she can’t control,

From the feelings that won’t stop tormenting her. 

I want to reach out a hand,

Give her a hug, 

Pull her from the crashing waves,

But I can’t,

We’re years apart,

So close, yet so far away. 

So instead I lift my eyes to the mirror,

And see the difference in me now.

I see the smile crease my face,

And I know that I smile like I do,

Because I went through what I did.

I turn my eyes to heaven,

And the smile reaches my heart,

As I feel love envelope me, 

The love of God like sunlight on my face. 

I may have felt alone, weary and burdened, 

But He took my load, and held my hand,

Lifted up my face, and said ‘you can withstand’

‘Because I will never leave you, nor forsake you,’

‘And this is all just as I have planned.’ 

29.06.24